November 8, 2019
Motivation is a funny thing. It starts inside you. Yes, there are external motivators, things to help get you moving. But when it comes time to do the thing we have to look inside ourselves. As you can see from my lack of posts I have lost motivation.
I’ve spent the past couple weeks questioning everything. What’s the point? Why get up and do the do? Why am I meditating? Why drink celery juice? Why am I STILL trying to lose weight? With all the questions and struggles… this line of thinking has me stuck.
I was crying in the morning because my meditation book was confusing, I felt like I wasn’t getting it and I was frustrated. I broke out in a rash which made me question the celery juice and all that work that goes into it. Try as hard as I might to get to yoga class something would inevitably come up and I would miss. A dear friend of mine, taking care of herself, has taken a step back and she is my northstar. I found out I have high blood pressure and might need medication, so lose weight and exercise now, no pressure. I am just struggling keeping it going and I cannot get it together.
I’m guessing I’m not alone. It’s always something, right? Just when we’re on a roll, bam, something happens… or worse nothing happens and we still lose motivation. I think we forget our higher purpose, it gets lost in the mud. And there are SO MANY valid, logical reasons not to do things. We almost have to fly in the face if those reasons. Be stubborn, and do them anyway.
Luckily for me my habits in the morning are second nature. This whole time I’ve been questioning… everything. I’ve still been doing my morning routine. Call it stubbornness or maybe because, what else am I going to do? That’s when it happened. I reached an essay in my meditation book that had an answer. I won’t quote it but the gyst is, every step we take toward the light brings peace into our hearts.
Now, I don’t know what you’re looking for, but peace in my heart sounds like something I can get behind! That’s what I’m looking for. Now, it took weeks to find an answer but now I’m so glad I kept up my habits! I’m even going for a run in the mornings now (I’m only on day 3, keep your fingers crossed).
So, like everything else, motivation is simply perspective. Taken from an outside queue, from within, or borrowed from somebody else’s wisdom is still motivation. Get it however you need it that day. For instance, I hate every minute of running, being outside and vulnerable has always been a problem for me. But I’m trying to focus on the big picture. Running will help my health and stop me from taking a medication. Also, I never regret it! Something else I’m learning is these things we put off, often things we do for ourselves, are things we will never regret. We just think we will. Yes, I’ve cried during meditation and I’m a better person now because of it.
If you question the purpose of a thing, work backwards. Look for the bigger picture and know every tiny action changes that picture for better or worse.